How to lay the building blocks for confidence.

Week 5- Confidence

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This week was a bit of a rough one, so we were very glad upon reflecting that we chose to work on Confidence. It was certainly tested with not-so-pretty practices that bled into less-than-desirable game performance. There were some good lessons learned, however, that you’ll see helped in future weeks! Here are those lessons, or skip to the bottom to watch/listen to the discussion!


We usually progress from Commitment to Competitive, but the girls already had a pretty good grasp on focusing on the process and having a growth mindset so we decided to skip ahead for now. The immediate need was Confidence, which they scored much lower on. If you want to find out where your girls’ strengths lie, click here for the Mental Game Quiz Alicia’s players took.

The need for confidence was glaring when Alicia did a self-talk exercise with them. She gave them the scenario: it’s the bottom of the 7th, two outs, bases loaded, your team is down by one run, and you strike out looking to end the game. What are you saying to yourself afterward?

The responses were, in her words, scary. From “I’m terrible” to “I should quit,” they were pretty harsh on themselves. After the girls wrote down their responses, they then had to pair up and yell these things at their teammate. The point was if you don’t like saying these things to your teammate, why would you say them to yourself? It gets the point across and really builds some self-awareness. That awareness is the first step toward improving self-talk.


As I mentioned above, the week did not go very well. The practices were sloppy and the games reflected it. They kept repeating the same mistakes and getting more and more frustrated. Finally, the coaching staff had had enough and it came to a head. Guided a little too much by emotions of frustration, one post-practice talk ended in tears. The message was correct- the effort was not where it needed to be- but the delivery could have been handled better. I think we can all admit that we’ve been there before. The key to getting through moments that could fracture the team is building trust before-hand and after.


Building trust is a process that you have to continue to nurture, but there are strategies that you can commit to that help. First, incorporate team-building activities off of the field. The more relaxed atmosphere of team dinners, excursions to watch other teams, and just let loose help promote conversations that help everyone get to know each other. Though we as coaches don’t want to be buddy-buddy with the girls and get close like we’re their friend, they still need to see that we’re human and can let loose sometimes too 🙂

Another important factor to trust is respect. Setting expectations and holding them accountable to those that are within their control shows them that you know they are capable. You balance that push by showing them that you care about them as people. Tell them how much you enjoy coaching them and seeing them improve, and point out when they show growth and success. When you balance this, you will earn their respect because they know you’re doing all of this for them.


All of these factors help build truconfidence. That’s different from the emotional confidence that waivers sometimes for now reason. Feeling confident is not the same as believing you are capable. We can help build the belief piece.

You do this by clarifying your expectations of each individual player. Know what they are capable of and know when and how to push them further. This does not mean making things easier or sugar-coating when things get tough. These girls can handle feedback if it is truthful and actionable, meaning something they have control over improving. If you can keep pushing them in a way that they will continue to improve, and then show them how far they’ve come, you will create that belief!

You can also help build true confidence by teaching your girls how to remember the good things and let go of the bad. One way to do this is to track wins and learning moments. On the following sheet, your girls can track every win and learn from every mistake. When they are feeling less confident, they can look back on the sheet and see how far they’ve come. It will provide an immediate confidence-boost because it’s proof that they are and have already been capable of success. 🙂



Next week, the team will learn how to be more in Control, manage distractions and focus only on what they can control.


For more details and to hear how Alicia implemented and addressed the topic of commitment, watch the video below! If you like this content, please join us live each Sunday at 10am EST in the Coaches’ Mastermind or keep an eye out for the post on the Facebook Page 🙂

We hope you enjoyed this week’s chat!

alicia & mel



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Learn our Dream Team Blueprint

So you can stop wasting your precious time not getting the results you want